Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Al Qaeda, Please Bomb the Italian Consolate



Just wanted the vent the frustration I am feeling towards the Italian Consulate in Buenos Aires. I urgently need a certificate which only they can provide me with.
I went on their website three days ago and the first thing I find out is that their working hours consist of a massive four days a week from 9 to 11 in the morning. Knowing, this yesterday and today I have been calling non stop during those two hours.

Results:

Calls made: Close to 300
Busy tone: 200
Not Answering: 80
Hung up in my face: 5

Spent all my lunch hour daydreaming about the revenge I am going to take as soon as I have the time and energy.

Posibilty 1: Classic bollocking
Posibilty 2: Blackmail / Kidnapping
Posibilty 3: Arson / bomb attack
Posibility 4: Break in to tears and hope they suffer due to excessive empathy

5 Comments:

Blogger Lil' Kim said...

sorry. i'm in prison. what does bollocking mean?

5:00 pm  
Blogger Wonko the Sad Clown said...

Bollocking = shouting at / getting angry at

12:42 pm  
Blogger Sheila said...

I would say tears are a good bet. Many of your other options may involve jail time. But hey, maybe you could meet Lil' Kim that way.

If you go for the tears option do not try the full on hysteria. Be polite, soft spoken. Let your eyes well up, make your lip tremble, and take a few short breaths. When executed correctly this tends to come across as strong yet vulnerable and just looking for a little bit of help to make this tough day easier.

2:52 pm  
Blogger Wonko the Sad Clown said...

Hehe, brilliant. I love the image of me staring at the girl working at the consulate with two big brown eyes filled to the brim with tears.

3:18 pm  
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more coming soon

11:35 am  

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