Monday, October 31, 2005

Thing you should not be doing


For the series, Things you should probably not be doing....... feed the crocs

Pirates and flying hair

To be honest not much in the mood for writing. Not much in the mood for anything recently. Can’t work, can’t eat, can’t sleep. Have thrown myself in to a pseudo catatonic state in which I don’t care about anything. Even two normally hysterical things today didn’t really make me feel any better.
First of all I saw an old man today loose his wig. He walked incautiously underneath the train’s air-vent and his hair just flew off and skidded to a stop scant meters from my foot. I was feeling so apathetic that I didn’t even laugh at him.
Then I get to the office and am greeted by my boss in a pirate outfit. Well, he didn’t actually have a wooden leg and a parrot on his shoulder. He was, however, sporting a large patch on his left eye. Apparently he had a little accident involving his wife, a fork, and a chair which nearly caused him to loose his eye. On Friday, tired and distracted he sat down to dinner too quickly and got stabbed by his wife who was walking past with a fork in her hand. I must admit that the mental image of my boss running around in circles, screaming hysterically and with a fork sticking out of his eye, did make me briefly smile. However, scant minutes later I had already stopped laughing while normally I would have had to have a quit lie down just so as to stop laughing.

Friday, October 28, 2005

Evolutionary mystery

Seeing as this stupid site is not letting me upload any photos anymore I will leave you with an evolutionary question I have never manage to figure out: Why is yawning contagious? In what evolutionary context did it develop?

A definition of identity

One can divide, in my opinion, Identity in two distinct categories: inherent traits and learned, or acquired, moral and psychological “beliefs”. First and foremost, given the fact that every baby is unique and clearly distinct to all other babies, it is reasonable to presume that any event this baby will experience will be interpreted in a unique way. While every child bitten by a dog will pull back his hand in pain, not all will develop a lasting fear of dogs. Our DNA, our own, distinct, physical and mental characteristics will shape all thought and emotion we can experience. We can not sense ultrasounds like dolphins, we can barely sense smell, we are inevitably trapped by our senses and cognitive process in forming a version of reality we can comprehend. This is true not only in inter-species comparisons but even amongst individual humans. Even in babies can one see differences in behaviour, different fascinations, different needs, different ways of reacting to events. From the second we are born there is already a framework of limitations which our cognitive process has to work with. It is not anything in the mind, yet, which differs but the mind in itself.

The second aspect of personality, which is as important as the first, does not share its static nature. If one considers the former as symbolising a container, this second category represents all that goes in it. Every single event, every thought or emotion, every impulse that passes through our brain shapes identity. At birth, Identity looses its static nature and is expanded by a continuous and random accumulation of events. We develop tastes and opinions encouraged by past experiences. We develop passions and fears due to events and emotions we encounter. We develop a personality based on the totality of events we experience and of the reaction that follows them. These acquired truths are fundamental in shaping what we call personality. The initially empty container of our mind gets gradually filled with information that allows us, forces us, to continually re-evaluate our beliefs, our emotions. We develop preconceptions and moral obligations which affect our reaction to any given event, we slowly construct an identity which shapes all we do, all we feel.

This gathering of information is predominantly active when we are young. As we age our mind becomes less receptive to change and our identity gradually becomes more static, it is harder for events to dramatically alter our way of thinking. This concept is portrayed effectively in many novels of which one stands out. In Milan Kundera’s work, “ The Unbearable Lightness of Being”, the author uses a musical comparison to illustrate this concept beautifully:

“ While people are fairly young and the musical composition of their lives is still in its opening bars, they can go about writing it together and exchange motifs, but if they meet when they are older.. their musical compositions are more or less complete, and every motif, every object, every word means something different to each of them.”

Even though age weakens our ability to shape our identity, it never really becomes totally static. Even when we are old and our personality is well defined we can still experience events which, if strong enough, can cause us to dramatically shift our identity. We are continuously in danger of suddenly realising that all we believed no longer rings true, we are forever liable to see all our convictions destroyed by a single, revealing thought.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Mischevious demons

I woke up with the strange feeling that something horrible is going to happen to me today. Something so horrible and contorted that it will leave me gasping for breath, shocked and hurt. I keep catching myself glancing nervously behind my back. I keep wincing every time someone speaks to me or asks me a question. I feel as though I have a host of chuckling demons on my shoulders, a crowd of sniggering ghosts crawling up my back. They know what is going to happen and it makes them joyful and mischievous. The fact that I haven’t the slightest clue makes it even more deliciously amusing for them. All I am hoping for now is that whatever happens, it happens soon so that at least this unpleasant sensation leaves me alone.

Tommy and the Yanks

I remember Tommy telling me, as a teenager, that he would have liked to die on a rainy day. He said he would have felt better leaving the world if the day was wet and cold. In the end, they killed him on such a beautiful April morning, on the first real day of spring. It is all I remember thinking while I watched, mesmerized, as his head slowly exploded, droplets of blood taking flight like a flock of startled birds. It is all I remember thinking, while he keeled over as though in slow motion. It is all I remember thinking as he lay in my arms, dead yet still warm, gone yet still familiar. He would have liked to die on a rainy day.Once I got home, it took me a while to clean the dried blood which had caked to my skin. The clothes I was wearing I had to throw away as they were beyond recovery. I would have never imagined how much blood could rush forth from a human body. To me, the flow of blood seemed endless, a majestic crimson river which streamed forth from unknown depths. Of course I was not able to do anything about Tommy’s lifeless body. I had to leave it there on the cobbled street like carrion left to the birds. I am sure the Americans will take care of it. They will dump it in one of the many communal graves that seem to be cropping up like mushrooms recently. They will take my best friends body and throw it in a nameless pit next to thousands of other fellow Europeans they have slaughtered since the invasion began exactly six months ago.

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Early morning cheek

Today woke up and, like usual, shocked the family which lives across the street. From their balcony they can see straight in to my house and so far I have surprised them by walking out of the shower naked several times, by having sex in plain site once and by dancing drunkenly and lewdly all by myself on one occasion. This morning was a classic, naked out of the shower episode. I strolled butt naked and dripping towards my window, lifted my eyes and smiled at the assembled family staring at me in horror. Three generations of neighbors were given an early morning show of full frontal nudity. These are the kind of mornings that make you walk out of the house happy and fulfilled!

Friday, October 21, 2005

Another day, another subte catastrophe

Last night I left the office a little late and, like usual, took the subte to get back home. Strangely it was relatively empty and even managed to find a seat. I am sitting quietly reading the evening paper when I notice the girl sitting next to me, look up and move as though to get up for someone. I glance up and see a heavily pregnant woman heading towards us. I put my hand on the girl’s arm and tell her not too worry, that I will get up and leave the woman my seat. I look at the woman, smile and ask her if she would like my place. She looks at me a bit puzzled so I explain that seeing as she is pregnant I would be more than happy to leave her my seat. The woman gives me a killer look and starts shouting at me and insulting me. She asks me, screaming, how dare I think she is pregnant! A teenager next to me starts laughing so hard that he has difficulty breathing, the rest of the passengers avoid my glance and look embarrassed. Turns out the pregnant woman is actually just fat! Hehe. Embarrassed and fearful I get off the train a station early and walk home.

Thursday, October 20, 2005

A dangerous game

I have started talking to Cristela again. I have swallowed my pride and dignity and have approached her again. The last few days I have spent hours chatting to her on messenger, loosing myself once again to her spell. I know it might be a big mistake, I understand that I will probably get hurt once again but I cannot stop myself. The thing is that I am totally fascinated. She is like a small localized hurricane, deadly and destructive but beautiful and amazing.
It had been years since I had experienced such strong feelings for a person or, for that matter, for anything. I had locked myself up in my armor of indifference and sarcasm, and had slowly stopped caring about anything. When I talk to Cristela I feel alive. I feel as though my veins are flowing with fire, as though electricity was sparkling off my bare skin.
The way I see it is that the worst that can happen is that she will end up tearing my heart out and smashing it in to a million pieces. I will scream, insult the world and curse my stupidity. The pain will claw at my soul like a million fangs, shredding it to bloody strips. And yet, with time the pain will subside, the anger will loose its edge, the anguish will disappear. On the other hand, if I do nothing, the boredom will make me every day ever more cynical. The grey and useless hours will slowly wear me down and I will find myself frustrated and unhappy with nothing to look forward to.
Furthermore, I believe that deep down she feels something strong for me too. She is scared and weary and maybe even she does not realize it yet but I can see in her eyes that there is something. I see it in the way she looks at me, in the things she says, in the questions she asks. She is like an impenetrable fortress, and I feel like a foolhardy knight madly storming her walls. I am willing to risk pain and torture as long a glitter of hope still basks the dreary battlefield with its golden light. :)

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

A little vision of hell.

Today was one of those days were the upcoming summer decides to try and asphyxiate everyone with its warm and damp embrace. I walked out of my house this morning in my suit and tie and by the time I got to the first corner I was already drenched in sweat. I walked to the subte station and waited for a drain, which arrived packed to capacity. I used my shoulder as a lever and managed to push and shove until I managed to get most of my body in to the carriage. I thought it couldn’t get any fuller until another three people managed to jam themselves in behind me. As the doors closed I heard a collective gasp and the train started moving. The heat was getting stronger and stronger every minute. I felt like a sardine in a sauna. Beads of sweat kept running down my forehead and launching themselves off my nose like a bungee jumper causing me an unpleasant tickling sensation. I would have liked to wipe my forehead but both my arms were inexorably blocked by the press. One of my arms was especially bothering me as it was glued to the backside of a particularly fat and ugly middle aged woman. She seemed quite pleased about it but I was trying to ignore the unpleasantly soft and damp flesh pressed against my skin. Fortunately I totally forgot about the hand the instant that the even fatter man behind me shifted his weight and embraced me from behind. I could feel his tremendously flabby gut surround my back and, what I can only hope was his wallet, press against by ass. The drops freefalling off my nose gradually turned in to a mountain stream and then in to a full blown rushing river, my twisted leg started cramping painfully due to the fact that it was supporting at least half a dozen panting bodies and the smell of unwashed humanity was starting to make my eyes water. As a small child started to wail uncontrollably further down the carriage, the train suddenly braked and a wall of alarmed people smashed me against te plastic side doors. I remember thinking in that instant: “give me an eternity of fire and brimstone any day over an eternity of this.”

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Boa in the toilet


On the news today I read an interesting story about a boa which apparently has been living for months in the drains of a building in Manchester, UK. The three meter long snake had been repeatedly seen by terrorized inhabitants of the building in the Manchester neighborhood where I actually lived for two years. The police and RSPCA were skeptical at first but when someone actually managed to catch it and trap it in a bucket they were forced to admit the truth. The snake had apparently been abandoned by an exotic pet owner had had survived by eating rats it caught in the sewers. All I can hope is that the snake could tell the difference between a small fuzzy part of the body and rat.

On the new girl at the office.


Well, as they say, fate closes a window and opens a new door. With my brief and melodramatic story with the receptionist officially over I have had a stroke of luck. The desk in front of me at the office which had stayed mysteriously empty got finally filled up. The new girl, because of course if it wasn’t a girl I wouldn’t be so happy, is very nice. She is slightly younger than me, studies veterinary sciences and works part time at the local zoo. I have already found out she doesn’t have a boyfriend and that she is a very friendly girl. The only problem, and I wish all my problems were this pleasant, is that she has a very pronounced breast and wears very low cut tops. I am finding it very difficult concentrating on my work and keep finding that my eyes get drawn away from the computer screen. Hehe.

Monday, October 17, 2005

Ed é subito sera

One of my favourite poems (Ed é subito sera di Quasimodo) and a bad translation in to english and spanish

Ognuno sta solo sul cuor della terra
Trafitto da un raggio di sole
Ed é subito sera

Everyone is alone on the heart of the World
Pierced by a ray of sun
And it is already evening

Todos estamos solos sobre el corazón de la tierra
Guinchado da un rayo de sol
Y ya es sera

The lawyer, the philantropist and the priest..

There were a lawyer, a priest and a philanthropist on the Titanic. The ship hits the iceberg and starts to sink. The philanthropist shouts: “Save the women and the children!”, the lawyer shouts “Fuck the children!” and the priest innocently asks: “Will we have the time?”

The Scream

I seem to have a slight problem with all this living stuff. I keep getting the sensation that life is a strange joke that I do not understand. I laugh, because everyone else is doing it but I still get that feeling of being left out, that confusing feeling that I am the only one who doesn’t get the joke.
It is not that life is that unpleasant. It is, most of time, quite interesting and varied. I cannot complain that I have had a bad life either. I have always had enough money, enough food and a nice place to sleep. I am even a moderately good looking and healthy bloke. I am certainly not stupid and have even been called charming on occasion.
Simply, I always have this feeling in the back of my head that something isn’t quite right. A strange bitter after taste that turns even the most innocent occurrence somewhat sad and pointless. However hard I try I fail to identify a point to it all. It all seems so ridiculous and irrelevant.
I can spend fascinating hours analyzing a single marvelous thought, I can loose myself in the stunning beauty of sunshine coming through a window and refracting through the dust, I can feel utterly awed by a book, a tune or a word. I am also quite capable of enjoying mundane things like a friendly conversation, a joke or couple of beers. And yet when it comes to all that lies in between I am lost.
I often get this feeling that I am somehow wasting my life. That all the things I do, all my petty concerns, are in effect completely irrelevant. I catch myself fantasizing about doing something so pointless and brave, like running full speed in to a battle, like standing in front of an invading tank, like sacrificing my life for some half baked cause.
If you think about it, our lives compared to the lives of all the people in the world, all the people who have ever lived, all the people who will ever live, are nothing. Our lives compared to the millions of years that our planet has been in existence, compared to all the millions of planets in our galaxy, compared to all the galaxies in the universe, are practically irrelevant.
I get this feeling that not only is my life irrelevant but, also, that life in general is quite pointless. I have to come to think that modern society worsens this feeling. We have been granted freedom but at the expense of its meaning. We no longer have to fight in order to survive, our only purpose being to consume. I think that I would quite like to go live in the country side and live as a hermit alone and living off the land. I would like to see if by living in close contact with nature maybe I might gain a slightly healthier perspective on life. Maybe if I had something real on which to worry, like weather the storm will ruin my harvest, I might stop worrying on that which I have no answer for. Like Kundera says in his book “The unbearable lightness of being”:

“The absolute absence of a burden causes man to be lighter than air, to soar in to the heights, take leave of earth and his earthly being, and become only half real, his movements as free as they are insignificant.”

The Shamoons

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Women are from Mars and Men are from Venus


I was talking to an older man yesterday and he told me something about men and women which I realized is quite true. He told me how, if he took everything his wife said to him every morning before he left for work, he would have had to divorce her years ago. He explained how a simple acid comment from his wife would rebound in his head all day in the office. He would sit and think about it incessantly, turning it over and over, examining it until distorted and mangled it would begin to haunt him. He would sit and play out in his head the scene of him coming back home. He would plan what he would say, his wife’s reaction, his triumphant response. He would act it all out in his head and prepare a plan.
Once he actually got home and opened his front door he would be greeted by his smiling wife who would innocently ask him how his day had gone and warmly tell him that dinner would be ready in a minute or two. When he actually built up the courage to confront her on her comment she would look at him sweetly and ask him what the hell he was going on about. She would have totally forgotten the comment!
I guess what he meant to portray was the difference in how men and women express themselves. Women simply say what ever comes through their mind and, once they have said, promptly forget it and move on. Men, on the other hand, will drive themselves crazy by obsessing on a single word, a single comment. I do not actually agree with the common thought that men are insensitive and distract while women are deep and emotional. If anything we tend to be far more fragile and prone to melodramatic thought. One could say that men are from Venus and women from Mars.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

The stupid bitch


On another note, my brief romance with one of the office receptionists has definitely died. I have deleted her number from my phone, taken her name of messenger and I do not even want to hear her name ever again. After weeks of being treated harshly I was getting quite tired and pissed off and last night was the straw the broke the camel’s back. We had arranged to meet for lunch but seeing as she cancelled scant minutes before the arranged time, I told her to meet me at home after dinner. She told me that she would come but that seeing as she didn’t want to stay up too late she asked me if we could met up quite early. We agreed on ten. I was supposed to go to dinner with my father, which is alone in the city and knows no one, and then I would have rushed back home.
Later in the afternoon I realized that not only would I have to work late but that my father couldn’t make it until much later. This would have not given me enough time to get back home by eight so I told him that we would have to cancel our dinner and meet the following day. I did not like doing this but I had promise Cristela I would be home bu ten. I also had to blow off a friend who was having his birthday party but I was so happy I was going to see Cristela that I did not mind.
I get home at 9:30 and call her. Seeing as she doesn’t answer I send her a message on her cell telling her I am at home and that she should call me. By 10:30 she still hasn’t called so I send her another message. I wait some more, try calling her but all to no avail. I send her another message asking her if there is a problem and that if she wasn’t going to come she should tell me. Immediately I get a message saying literally: “I am not coming”. No excuses, no apology, nothing. I call for an explanation and she simply hangs up in my face. I try calling a few more times until I get a message telling me that I should stop hassling her and that she might come the next day! Hehe.
The thing that pisses me off most is how I managed to judge her so wrongly. To think I had actually fallen in love with the stupid bitch! Oh, well, here now it is spring and hunting season is officially open.

p.s I promise that tommarrow I will write a more intelligent post but today the pain racking my face is just too distracting to concentrate

Santiago

I am sorry I haven’t had the time to write anything in such a long time. I have had a couple of strange and exhausting days and only today have I had a moment to sit down and write. Last time I wrote I was about to leave for Chile with my father for the long weekend. We arrived in Santiago on Saturday and spent the day walking around the city and visiting the sites. Particularly beautiful were the Cerro de los Inamorados (lover’s hill), the Cerro de la Virgin (virgin’s hill) and la Moneda (House of government). The first two are hills which spring up in the middle of the city adding a bit of green to the monotonous grey of Santiago. Lover’s hill is full of young couples who walk around holding hands and kissing. The virgin’s hill, to my disappointment, was not full of virgins but, instead, has a statue of the (supposedly) virgin Mary on its summit. La Moneda, apart from being quite beautiful, also has historic value as it is where Salvador Allende committed suicide as the military staged a coup and bombed the capital. He said he would never let them drag him out of the Moneda alive, and he stuck to his word. Apparently he shot himself in the head with a rifle presented to him by his friend Fidel Castro.
On Sunday we visited the coast which although quite beautiful is nothing special. The only particularity worthy of note are the enormous sea lions which live in harmony with fisherman and tourists in the port of San Antonio.
On the last day, Monday, we decided to rent a car and drive up in to the Andes. These extraordinary mountains which start just a few kilometers from the edge of Santiago are truly beautiful. Their majestic peaks pierce the sky as though trying to touch the heavens. We sat and had lunch basking in the blinding sun and watched skiers slide blissfully down the snowy slopes. The only problem is that I forgot to put on any cream and once I got down I realized that the mountain sun had cooked my face to a crispy state. Though I have been applying tons of cream, my face has been giving off a surprisingly pleasant smell of roast meat and my skin is protesting by plaguing me with excruciating pain.

Friday, October 07, 2005

Office blowjob


Well, been very busy and as you can see have not had much time to post. My father is in town and so have had quite a heavy week of taking him out to dinner (Some nice places were el Club Sirio and a French restaurant on Marcelo T. Alvear). Tomorrow will have to wake up early seeing as we are taking advantage of the long weekend (Monday is Columbus day – the day we celebrate the beginning of the massacre of millions of American Indians) and we are leaving for Santiago de Chile. Will let you all know how our holiday turns out and will try to rememeber some good tips for anyone heading out there.

Will leave you all with a bit of very juicy gossip. In the office were I work, apparently on of the senior partners had a “very special relationship” with his secretary. The other day they evidently forgot to lock the door and were surprised by a startled assistant. The strange (and very unlucky) thing is that in the exact moment when the door was opened a security camera from outside the office took a picture of what was happening! So, not only did the partner get caught, he also got caught on camera. Hehe. Obviously the story has been racing around the office like wildfire and very probably some heads will roll. All I am waiting for is for the pictures to start circulating. She was a very cute secretary!!

Thursday, October 06, 2005

The bastards!

I have just realized that the TTLB has just downgraded me from a Slimy Invertebrate to an Inignificant Microbe. The bastards!!!!

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Interesting article on our move towards an Orwellian reality

I am extremely worried with how thing seem to be developing. We sit and watch as our democratic liberties are torn apart and we head towards another dark age of oppression and Orwellian state control. Especially in the US (with dictatorial laws like the Patriot Act) but also in Europe, politicians are using the people´s fear of terrorism and blatant racism caused by immigration to pass laws which are shameful and dangerous.

This article by George Monbiot form the Guardian brilliantly portrays the situation in the UK.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/Columnists/Column/0,5673,1584140,00.html

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

La Tigre e la Neva di Roberto Benigni


On a shallower note I would like to comment on the pleasant fact that Roberto Benigni (Il Mostro, Johnny Stecchino, La Vita é Bella etc..) is about to release his new film: La Tigre e la Neve (The tiger and the snow)

The film is the story about a hopelessly lovestruck Benigni who travels to modern day Iraq to find the woman he loves who has been injured while interviewing an Iraqi poet on who she is writing a biography. All this as “Allied” soldiers patrol the streets and the Iraqi resistance blow up innocent civilians.


“With Art and films one cannot save the world: they are only useful in order to distract and bring a little pleasure. I only wanted to tell the story of a small man who, with his fly swatter and his barber stool (the only “weapons” the main character brings with him to Iraq) fights his war for love, as around him soldiers fight theirs”

hoÞ geldInIz (welcome) Turkey


I am happy to report that a deal has been struck with Turkey that allows to join the EU as a full member sometime in the next decade. I had been waiting for this announcement and had been quite worried about the outcome. I think it would have been unpardonable if Europe had rebuffed this proud and historic country which played an important part of European history. If you think about it the capital of the eastern Roman Empire was in Constantinople (Istanbul)! Also I find it very positive that Europe will have a Muslim country in its midst. Maybe it will help break the icy vice with which the Christian church daily oppresses the European masses.

Thus: hoÞ geldInIz (welcome) Turkey

Monday, October 03, 2005

Childhood Madness


I am walking down the street towards my house. I had to stay behind after school in detention so I am late. The last rays of sun pierce the twilight wrapped around me and the wind is starting to pick up. The street is empty and the only other movement is the last of the autumn leaves dancing around in the wind. I want to get home before the darkness envelops everything and I start to walk a little faster. The wind starts to howl a little louder and a shiver runs down my back like a trickle of icy water. The strap on my school bag digs in to my shoulder painfully reminding me of all the homework I will avoid doing tonight. I start walking even faster as a first raindrop hits the pavement and explodes in a festival of liquid shrapnel. I spot my house in the distance as several other raindrops follow their brother in a futile attempt to storm the approaching earth. As the world around me turns in to a watery version of the Normandy landings I walk up in to my driveway. My arm extends, fingertips looking for the door and, already looking forward to a warm shower and a change of clothes, I glance one last time behind me in to the swirling rain. My arm freezes, fingertips dying in mid bloom, and I stop, raindrops flowing down my face, to watch.I stare, riveted, at the spectacle of millions of raindrops swirling and falling from the dark heavens above. The wind whips them up, throwing them across the skies like confetti. Patterns arise from the confusion and, like birds flocking in the skies, the water dances through the darkness above. The beauty of the dance smothers me and I can no longer move, no longer breath. Awe explodes in to my head with blinding pain and I feel as though I will loose myself in the chasm of grace that has opened itself up in front of me. Lightning tears the skies in half and the whole magnificence of the scene comes to light. Water streams down my face and back, shivers raping my body with convulsions. I feel dizzy and struggle to stay upright and then, suddenly, I blink and everything goes back to normal. The rain outside no longer looks beautiful but simply wet and cold. I notice I am shivering and my clothes and bag are soaked. I turn round, wrench my front door open and, taking a step, embrace the loving warmth inside

Sivio Berlusconi and spanking?



On a happier note.... apparently our venerable Prime Minister (the right bastardly Silvio Berlusconi) enjoys a touch of spanking evreynow and again!

http://italyfalling.blogspot.com/2005/08/being-waitress-at-berlusconis.html

All I know is that I would pay good money to give him a proper spanking! hehe

Borrachos del Tablon - Chant

Here follows a tipical Borrachos del Tablón chant with a (very approximate) translation:

River a todas partes siempre te sigo,
fumando porro tomando vino,
de la cabeza vengo a alentar.
Quiero correr al Rojo en Avellaneda,
robarle a Racing otra bandera
y un campeonato pa' festejar.
Vamo' a coparle la Bombonera
quemar los ranchos de la Rivera
vamo' a coparles Avellaneda
correr al Rojo y a la Academia.
Correr al Cuervo y a los Quemeros
son todos putos no tienen huevos.
Siempre borracho yo, vengo alentar...
siempre borracho yo, vengo a alentar

River, I follow you everywhere,
Smoking weed and drinking wine
I have come to show my support
I want to chase the reds in Avellaneda
Steal another flag from Racing
And win a championship to celebrate
Go and burn the Bonbonera
Burn the bastards from la Rivera
Lets go burn Avellaneda
Chase the Reds and Academia
Chase the Cuervo and the Quemeros
There all bitches with no balls
Im always drunk and supporting
Im always drunk and supporting

A day at the Monumental


Yesterday accepted an invitation from a good friend and accompanied him to the Monumental to watch River – Independiente. This football game is one of Argentina’s classicos, in other words a game between two of the great historic clubs of the capital city, and thus was packed to the rafters. We decided to watch the game from the “populare” which is the cheapest section of the stadium but also that with the loudest and warmest support. Seeing as it was a beautiful day we got there a couple of hours early and after having paid 15 pesos for my ticket we took a seat right in the middle of the southern stand.
We smoked ourselves a spliff, basking in the midday sun and watched the fans come trickling in. The problem was that the fans would not stop coming and by the time the match was about to start the whole stand was totally packed. Now, for you Anglo-Saxons out there, you might not fully understand what a really packed stadium looks like. First of all there are no seats. You just stand on the stone steps that make up the stadium which are incredibly steep and narrow. Furthermore we were right in the middle of River´s barrabravas (the more “fanatical” supporters): Los Borrachos del Tablón.
Normally the whole ninety minutes are spent jumping up and down, singing and hurling abuse at the opposite stand where the visitant fans are placed. Every time a goal is scored (and in this game river scored three) the stand explodes into a festival of joy and passion and often people fall down and crash several meters down the stand taking any one on their path down with them.
Anyway after two exhausting but exhilarating hours the game ended (3-1) and we started the slow and arduous process of actually leaving the stadium and getting home.
In two weeks it is River-Boca (the greatest classico of all) so don’t have to wait too long.