Thursday, October 13, 2005

Women are from Mars and Men are from Venus

I was talking to an older man yesterday and he told me something about men and women which I realized is quite true. He told me how, if he took everything his wife said to him every morning before he left for work, he would have had to divorce her years ago. He explained how a simple acid comment from his wife would rebound in his head all day in the office. He would sit and think about it incessantly, turning it over and over, examining it until distorted and mangled it would begin to haunt him. He would sit and play out in his head the scene of him coming back home. He would plan what he would say, his wife’s reaction, his triumphant response. He would act it all out in his head and prepare a plan.
Once he actually got home and opened his front door he would be greeted by his smiling wife who would innocently ask him how his day had gone and warmly tell him that dinner would be ready in a minute or two. When he actually built up the courage to confront her on her comment she would look at him sweetly and ask him what the hell he was going on about. She would have totally forgotten the comment!
I guess what he meant to portray was the difference in how men and women express themselves. Women simply say what ever comes through their mind and, once they have said, promptly forget it and move on. Men, on the other hand, will drive themselves crazy by obsessing on a single word, a single comment. I do not actually agree with the common thought that men are insensitive and distract while women are deep and emotional. If anything we tend to be far more fragile and prone to melodramatic thought. One could say that men are from Venus and women from Mars.


Blogger Sheila said...

I am not sure I would go so far as to generalize and say one sex over-thinks a particular comment more than the other.

I think all people, especially the sensitive ones, will take any sort of negative thought and think it over and over again. Deep down we are all seeking approval on some level, especially from the ones we care about the most. To hear those comments cuts deep, whether that was the intent or not.

Some people are blind to the pain they cause in others (such as the wife in your story). But in her defense, if the husband shows no response to the comment when it is first mentioned, she will never know. Of course these roles are easily reversed.

3:40 pm  

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