Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Stupid bloody xmas shopping!


I bloody hate Christmas!! It seems such a stupid and meaningless holiday.

Apart from the fact that the whole thing is based on a blatant lie. It used to be a holiday about the middle of winter, the period in which the days finally stopped getting shorter and started to lengthen. It was a celebration of life commencing anew, about hope and the beginning of the end of the cold, hard days of winter. It was a holiday about the smell of snow, deep forests and a yearning for spring.

Then the bloody Christians came along and decided to steal it. In brilliant tradition they thought that if they just changed the details and left most of it the same, people would simply swallow the whole thing and forget the point. And, of course, they were right. People started thinking Christmas was actually a celebration of Christ’s birthday (which should actually be some time in august if the dates in the bible aren’t simply made up). The masses celebrated the Virgin Mary’s “miraculous conception” (yeah bollocks! She was sleeping around with the milkman, Josef! Deal with it!) and how the three bloody mages brought him gifts. Once again typical of the church which would rather die than give something away for free and would much rather receive. It got turned in to a sordid religious ordeal were people repeated meaningless platitudes about love and respect (while at the same time burning witches on the stake and persecuting any who complained!).

Then, bloody consumerist capitalism turns up and the whole thing definitely goes pear shaped. It becomes the celebration of expensive gifts. We are made to buy stupid, overpriced gifts for the people we care about. Now, I have nothing against buying gifts but it has to be a spontaneous desire to surprise someone with something interesting or useful or pretty not a dreary trawling of shops looking for something, oh please just anything, which they might like. All those bloody shoppers and stupid decorations (here in the southern hemisphere it is summer and bloody hot, what the fuck are reindeers and fat men in red ski suits doing on the street?) just make me feel even more pissed off with the whole affair.
Anyway, as you can see, I have been doing some Christmas shopping recently and it has made me a bit nervous. Give me an august week of hot languid days sleeping on the beach over this any time.

Monday, December 19, 2005

Greek civil servants and missed opportunities

Well, on Friday I left Nancy, I took her out for dinner and explained that it would be better if we were only friends. She took it quite well (too well for my manly pride! Jeje) and we decided to stay friends.
I then had the pleasure of going out alone with four girls. I called several friends who all refused to join me for various reasons and thus had to sacrifice myself and go out with all four. Ended up drinking seven negroni (which is always a very very bad idea) but managed to get home without too much embarrassment.
On Sunday someone kept calling me but I did not recognize the number so didn’t answer. I kept wondering why Cristela wasn’t calling me. Obviously it turns out that it was her who wanted to come over and I, the fool, didn’t answer.
I am sorry about today’s dreadful post but had a couple of spliffs yesterday (a friend came over in the evening) and today I am as slow as a Greek civil servant.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Carta a un amor imaginario

Caro amore,

Ya son años que te busco, anos que recorro el mundo mirando en todos lados para ver si estas. A veces me pregunto que olor vas a tener, cual va a ser el color de tus ojos, que idioma vas a hablar.

Ayer te soñé. Tenías un pequeño vestido azul que te llegaba a las rodillas todo lleno de pequeños flores blancos. Te reías y aunque si yo no sabia porque me reía con vos. Tus dientes blancos, tan pequeños y delicados, contrastaban con el rojo vivo de tus labios y te veía tan hermosa que me hacia mal al corazón.

El otro día miraba una chica que tenia que tener diez años o algo así. Caminaba con sus zapatos nuevos rojos y se veía tan fiera y orgulloso. Yo estaba sentado y al improviso ella se dio vuelta, me miro y me saludo con su manita. Me acuerdo que pensé que me gustaría que nuestra hija se vea así, tan dulce y llena de alegría.

Sabes, a veces, me siento tan cansado de buscarte. Quiero encontrarte ya, tenerte en mis brazos y nunca dejar que te vayas más. Mis piernas están hartas de caminar, mis ojos queman por tanto mirar, mi alma podrida de esta soledad.

Amor, apurarte a dejarte encontrar. Esta noche, si puedo, te voy a soñar otra vez.

How good it is to sleep!

Today I woke up in such a good mood!! Last night I switched off my cell phone and went to sleep early and alone. Today I woke up smiling like a pedophile in a kindergarten swimming competition, had a shower singing opera and walked out of the house. As I strolled down the street, whistling, birds and little furry animals frolicked around me and rested on my shoulders. Strangers smiled at me and greeted me with warm packs on the back and shouts of “good morning, my sir!”. In the subway, pregnant women and war cripples gladly left me their seat. I got to the office walking past smiling beggars and dancing homeless children and sat down to a rich and frothy machine coffee. How beautiful is life when you sleep well!

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

COMPOSICION ESCOLAR DE UN ALUMNO DE EGB2. PUBLICADA POR EL DIARIO

La maestra nos dio como tarea hacer una redacción con este título. Yo> > descubrí que la Justicia Social es la mejor ayuda para los pobres y> > permite a las personas vivir sin trabajar. No me resultó muy difícil> > por que es el caso de mi familia y otros vecinos.> > En casa estamos todos muy contentos, el único que está enojado es mi> > abuelo que protesta por que cree que asi no se levantará el país. El> > sale a cortar pasto en los otros barrios, limpia jardines y arregla bicicletas> > Dice que eso es ganarse la vida, pero mis padres se ríen y piensan que> > el está "fuera de onda".> > Antes vivíamos en la casa de mi abuelo, que es grande pero algo vieja.> > Papá se ocupaba de mecánico y mi mamá vivía quejándose, porque además> > de trabajar para su patrona, también tenía que lavar las ropas y las camisas engrasadas de papá.> > Mi hermana cocinaba, mi hermano era cadete y yo hacía los mandados.> > Siempre íbamos a la escuela porque mi abuelo le dijo a mi papá que si> > no nos mandaba, teníamos que irnos de su casa.> > Ocurrió que una tarde llegaron unas señoras que parecían maestras, pero> > no eran. Mi papá no quiso atenderlas y hablaron con mi mamá. Le dejaron> > unos papeles. Durante la cena mi mamá dijo que el tema era la Justicia> > Social y contó lo lindo que sería porque nos darían una vivienda nueva y gratis.> > Mi papá se rió y mi abuelo se quedó muy pensativo. Al final papá fue a firmar los papeles.> > ¡ Y era cierto! Cuando inauguraron el barrio nos fueron a buscar en un> > colectivo. Conocimos al Gobernador y otros altos funcionarios. La casita> > es increíble: tiene baño, cocina, canillas con agua y focos por todas> > partes. Aplaudimos tanto porque también dijeron que no tendríamos que> > pagar impuestos ni agua ni luz.> > Otro día volvieron las mujeres con más papales. Mi mamá se ocupó de> > sacar fotocopias de todos los documentos de la familia. Al tiempo las señoras> > le vinieron a mostrar la lista y le dijeron que tenía que ir a cobrar como> > Jefa de Hogar. También llegaron unos muchachos y le mostraron otra lista> > para ir a retirar las mercaderías de los galpones. Después mi papá se fue> > a una reunión del barrio y consiguieron un comedor donde vamos todos> > los chicos y también traemos una ollita a nombre de mi abuelo, pero el no> > sabe nada, que si no arma un lío bárbaro. Ayer inauguraron una sala para> > tener remedios gratis.> > Mi mamá está muy contenta, ya no tiene que ir a lavar la ropa y mi papá> > ya no le trae camisas engrasadas por que aceptó ser el "referente" del> > barrio y cobra un plan. Le prometieron que si ganamos la intendencia lo> > pasarán a "contrato seguro". Tiene que repartir los papeles, hacer las listas y> > ayudar en los actos. Mi hermano mayor se hizo piquetero, le dan ropa y le> >pagan doble cuando hace turno noche; cuando sea mayor de edad también le darán un plan.> > Mi hermana y yo cobramos la beca escolar, aunque este año fuimos poco a la> > escuela por los paros y por que faltamos por las manifestaciones.> > Sol mi abuelo no aceptó el beneficio de la Justicia Social y sigue viviendo solo> > en la casa vieja. Mi papá dice que es por que está "fuera de onda" y es un viejo amargado.> > Cuando sea algo mayor, voy a ser piquetero, después me gustaría ser> > "referente del barrio" y ayudar a los pobres para que todos gocen de la> > Justicia Social y no tengan que andar trabajando por unas miserables> > monedas, como dice mi papá.

Monday, December 12, 2005

Crack (my bones, not the drug)

I have just come back form the office Chiropractic (one of the little perks they have supplied us with). The whole experience was quite strange. In a little office on the second floor there is a man in a white coat and with a funny accent (apparently he comes from Santiago del estero), a strange machine which reminded me of a medieval torture instrument and a funny smell of fear and surprise.
The man puts me on the machine and starts asking me thousands of questions one after the other. Every couple of questions, crack!, he twists your neck or back. After about five minutes (and three hundred questions) he was finished and let me leave, bewildered but relaxed.

El Tano Pensador


I realised I have never put a photo of me so here goes...
I was messing around with nancy´s camera yesterday and she sent me this photo this morning.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Monday night at the cocco

Last night was definitely a night worth writing about. Two friends of my cousins from Italy are in town and I have been officially told I have to make sure they have a good time. I met them last night and they informed me that what they really wanted was to go to a night club and get some girls. I, thus, decided to bring them to the Cocodrilo (see link).

We got to the nightclub around midnight and even though it was a Monday night the place was surprisingly full. I grabbed three good looking girls and invited them to our table. One was supposed to be mine and the other two were for the Italians. We spent an hour or so chatting, I took care of the “negotiations” and we were ready to head off home. It was then that, suddenly, one of the Italians informed us that he actually wasn’t in the mood and that he was going to go home. This meant that we were two blokes stuck with three girls.

Obviously I decide to sacrifice myself and decided to bring two girls home with me. Thus we set off, me a blonde and a brunette and arrived home a little later.
I won’t go in to details but I can tell you that the sight of two stunning girls in my mirror was very pleasant.

Got to the office this morning, exhausted but quite happy. All I have to do now is manage to survive several meetings and then I will be able to go home and rest.

It is the little things in life which make you smile and feel contented.

Monday, December 05, 2005

Field Day

Well, I have managed to recuperate enough to manage to write about the Thursday so here goes…

My day started the instant my alarm started screaming at 5:30 in the bloody morning. I got up to shower and immediately regretted those beers the night before, but decided to soldier on and washed and dressed got to the office at 7 as planned to catch the buses that would bring us to the country club. Of course the same people who had made us promise not to be late informed us that the buses would leave at 8.

I got to Hurlingham (very Argentinean name!) at ten to nine and rushed to the football fields were I had foolishly agreed to play football the night before. What followed was a grave disgrace for myself, my country and football in general. I managed to last about twenty minutes (a couple of runs down the wing, a dirty foul and a missed shot) and then shattered in to a million wheezing pieces and was forced to sit down for a rest.

The county club was huge with golf courses, tennis courts and dozens of games and sports. I strolled around for a while saying hello to the 1,600 colleagues which had come (how many girls I had never seen before!). By eleven I was getting bored and so decided to take advantage of the open bar and ordered a rum and peach. This, I think, was my first mistake.

I kept drinking steadily until we were called for lunch in the main tent. The sight of one and a half thousand people sitting down to lunch was impressive but not as impressive as the huge amounts of wine and champagne put out for us. The firm had hired a famous Argentinean comedian which gave out prizes and made jokes but, seeing as I didn’t have the slightest idea who he was, I concentrated on putting a big dent in the wine stocks.

After lunch, I had planned to sit underneath a tree and sleep, but was informed that a famous rock band called kapanga would be playing and which actually proved to be really good. I found myself in the middle of about five hundred sweating colleagues going mad dancing out of control. Half an hour later I had lost my shirt, was soaked in champagne and realized I was screaming unknown Argentinean lyrics at the top of my voice.

The day continued thus, I spent the afternoon drinking rum and chasing pretty young secretaries. I foolishly forgot to put any cream on and avoided the shade so that by the end of the day not only was I stinking drunk, I had also a severe sun stroke.

I got home around ten ready to crawl in to bed but was interrupted by a phone call from Nancy who had just passed an exam and wanted to celebrate. I met her downstairs, we entered a bar and was forced to order more rum! Urgh. Don’t think I will be touching the stuff again any time soon!

Friday, December 02, 2005

Urgh

My feet hurt, my legs hurt, my thighs hurt, my arms hurt, my face hurts, my hair hurts.
My muscles hurt, my skin hurts, my lungs hurt, my head hurts, me eyes hurt. Urgggh..